Wow, it has been a long time since I’ve seen a film this bad and I can safely say that it had not been long enough. (Sigh) I don’t even know where to begin. I’m confused on how a film like this gets made and why anyone involved jumped on board other than money. And if anyone says they do it for their kids then they are insulting their children. Children don’t have a lot of control to what they are exposed to, please don’t teach them that this is quality work. This is definitely a film that is the product of the system. Lets team up John Travolta and Robin Williams, do some quick cuts of some physical humor where they are getting beat up, brand it with Disney and viola, we got ourselves some money.
The filmmakers must know how bad the film is because everything is so quickly edited together jumping from one joke scene to the next without telling any story hoping the viewer won’t get bored before the 88 minutes are over. The film was seriously on crack. But no matter how quickly you edit a film if none of the jokes are funny then it’s still way too long.
Dan (Robin Williams) and Charlie (John Travolta) are business partners of I don’t know what. Dan discovers he’s a father to two 7-year old twins. The mother, Vicki (Kelly Preston) is headed to prison for a few weeks and needs newly discovered father to watch them. Dan asks his single, flirtatious best friend Charlie to help him out. These “Old Dogs” don’t know what they are in for. They go on a super speed crash course handling kids.
Lets just name some of the ridiculous scenarios and jokes that have been done before. The kids are immediately on board with calling this stranger daddy, mom is on board and new dad is on board. This all happens in minutes. They believe they all love each other in spite of never really knowing one another. Dad’s best friend is on board in helping him achieve his “love” goal. They go camping where they play tackle ultimate Frisbee, they use a puppet suit to dance and have tea and they get cradled by a gorilla and pecked by penguins. There is also an over tanning bit. You know what this is like? A really really bad sit-com, that would get canceled after one episode.
The premise wouldn’t, couldn’t and shouldn’t ever happen. Sadly, I wish I could say the same for the film, however, while OLD DOGS shouldn’t be made, it could and it would.
BLU-RAY REVIEW
Video: 1.85:1 1080p High Definition. It looked swell but my eyes were bleeding from the pain of the material.
Audio: 5.1 DTS-HD Master Audio. Technically it was fine but my ears bled as well for the same reason.
Audio Commentary By Director Walt Becker, Producer Andrew Panay And Writers David Diamond And David Weissman: They all seem to be genuinely pleased and impressed with their film laughing and joking. One even remarks how this is one of the great pairings in film with John Travolta and Robin Williams. Give me a break.
Bloopers (2:26): A basic blooper reel of the actors flubbing up their lines and laughing about it.
Deleted Scenes (3:30): Three additional scenes that did not add much of anything. One of which is funnier than the norm of most of the jokes but without reaching actual funniness, so who cares.
Music Video “Every Little Step” Performed By John Travolta And Ella Bleu Travolta (3:33): This is a little sweeter version of Bobby Brown’s hit single but with John Travolta singing and dancing with his daughter around large prop letters spelling her name.
(Exclusive to Disney Combo Pack with DVD and Digital Copy)
Young Dogs Learn Old Tricks (2:51): The two kids interview the two stars. Conner Rayburn questions Robin Williams and questions Ella Bleu Travolta her dad, John Travolta. With hard nose questions like what is was like working with their co star and what their favorite scene was.
Music Video “You’ve Been A Friend To Me” Performed By Bryan Adams (2:57): This is actually a pretty good song. If only Bryan Adams could have written it for a PIXAR film he may have gotten more recognition from it.
